Quality Moments on your Wedding Day
Remember the remake of the film “Father of the Bride?” You know, the Steve Martin version that most of us have seen. I always get sad when I watch the wedding and reception scene of that film. The father has begrudgingly gone out of his way and his budget to not only pay for his daughter’s lavish wedding, but also to offer his home and gigantic backyard as a reception venue. When he gets excited to give his daughter the new espresso machine she wanted for her engagement gift, he is cut off at the pass when the in-laws pull up in the brand new CAR they bought the couple unexpectedly. He is pushed aside often by the wedding planner (the hilarious Martin Short); who has moved all the furniture, rearranged the entire house, and left the father utterly confused. And then what happens on the wedding day? The bride gets married, dances the night away, cuts the cake, throws the bridal bouquet, and waves goodbye to her guests before jumping into the get-away limo … and somehow her daddy just misses every single moment of it. He is running around, trying to get through the huge crowd, and cannot get to his daughter. He never gets to say goodbye, and she ends up calling him from the airport on their way to the honeymoon to tell her father she loves him. That scene always gets to me. One, because I’m a sap .. and two, because I did NOT want that to happen at my own wedding! I mean really. How do you go the entire reception without seeing your own father? Granted this was a huge reception with probabyl 300 or 400 people; whereas mine was only 100 guests. However, even with a smaller crowd, you run the risk of not seeing everyone there. I never wanted my wedding experience to be a huge blur that I couldn’t remember because everything was so rushed and happened so fast. I wanted to make CERTAIN that I got to spend quality time with my immediate family, my guests, and most importantly; my new husband. So here are a few things we did to ensure that everyone got a little piece of US on that beautiful, wonderful evening:
A MOMENT ALONE PLEASE ….
Our venue coordinator was a genius. Why? Because she had the foresight to know that my new husband and I would probably like a minute or two alone before all the madness began downstairs. (our ceremony and reception were at the same location.) Seconds after the ceremony ended; as we walked back down the aisle together, a newly married couple; she led us both up the stairs to the Bridal Suite and shut the door behind her. When we got up there, she had set aside a plate of the appetizers that would soon be passed around downstairs during cocktail hour, champagne, strawberries, fresh fruit, and water. Our coordinator pretty much then ordered us to stay up there for 10minutes or so while the cocktail hour began. (we opted to attend our own cocktail hour. I didn’t see any reason not to, as I didn’t want to miss any of the party.) I remember her saying to us, “I’m going to leave you two up here for about 10 or 15minutes. I want you to relax, take in what just happened, and enjoy it. Because when you go down those stairs, it is going to get crazy. This might be the only time you have to spend alone together the entire evening, so use it wisely.” Then she left. It was amazing, one of the best moments of the day. We held each other, talked about how nervous we were before the ceremony, and just relished in our happiness. We could hear the music downstairs, our friends celebrating and eating, and it was just a beautiful few moments of calm before the storm. So however you have to do it, make some time to spend ALONE with your new husband. Even if its only 10 minutes! For some couples, this happens in the limo ride. Since we didn’t have limos and everything was in one place, we used the Bridal Suite for our moments alone.
KEEP IT IN THE FAMILY ….
If spending time with your family and friends is important to you on your wedding day, then try to include those people in your wedding as much as possible. If they are not in the wedding party, there are plenty of other ways to make them a part of the event. We had a tiny wedding party; Best Man and Matron of Honor only. But in addition to that, we used our friends and family’s special talents to keep them close to us on our day. My mother was our co-officiant, so she was a huge part of our ceremony. My oldest childhood friend was our ceremony musician; so when I walked down the aisle, I got to glance over at her and hear the sounds of her flute with acoustic guitar as I approached my new husband. My dad and I both sing; so we did a duet medley for our guests during the cocktail hour; as well as the father daughter dance. My brother and his new wife were our two ushers; and they both sat people and handed out programs. My husband’s sister did a reading during the ceremony. So we found ways to include most of the people who were important to us; and this way it guaranteed that we would have at the very least, a small moment with those people during the day.
TABLE FOR SIXTEEN PLEASE …
Since we had such a small wedding party, we were able to have a “family table” instead of a head table, something I really didn’t want. Our table looked just like everyone else’s, except it was much bigger. At our table; we had me and my husband, our siblings and their wives, our parents, and our Best Man, Matron of Honor, and their spouses. This gave us a lot of time while eating to spend with our families; those that were closest to us and those that helped us put this whole day together. It also helped for my husbands family to meet my family, some for the very first time, and brought us all closer together. I am really happy that we did that instead of sitting alone just me and him, or with only our wedding party. I couldn’t imagine not sitting with our parents and families on that day. It made the day feel like a big family get together; and I left the reception without any regrets.
Share your ideas for spending quality time with your guests at your wedding. What worked for you that allowed you more moments with friends and family?
April 25th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
We spent some time alone during the limo ride and it was the best part of the day for me. Drinking champagne and kissing and just being away from the chaos that was waiting inside the reception. it was nice.
May 5th, 2008 at 1:25 am
Tee hee…I only had 7 guests..it was pretty easy to spend time with them. We got married in Vegas and all of our guests stayed the weekend. The night after the wedding night I went out with the girls. That was very fun. The next day DH and I went on an all day road trip to red rocks, while my friends took my son and his girlfriend to Hoover dam and my in laws went to another town to gamble in a more wild west looking town. My MOH went to stay with her aunt who lived there. It was just all so relaxed and fun.
When we got home we had a small reception, with about 20 guests. Most of the guests were family. The reception was gifted to us by his Aunt, Uncle, and his step mom. I have never felt so loved or so happy.
If I was to start a new business I would be a planner for weddings under $3000. I miss the small weddings of the olden days.